Family meals- a lost art?

By Judy at My Freezer is Full

A few weeks ago, I was attending an event for one of my children.  It was a ‘get to know you’ thing for a class he is taking.  The children got together in one group and the parents in another.  We drew cards and answered questions about ourselves based on what card we drew.  One of the questions I drew was “Can you name where each member of your family was last evening at 6:00 pm?”  EASY! We were all at home, eating dinner.  The other 10 or so parents were surprised. And even more surprised that, for us, eating together as a family is the rule, not the exception.  It is a very rare situation where we don’t sit down around the table together.  The ensuing discussion was interesting:  How do you do it? You have teenagers, don’t you?  You cook every night?  But you work, how do you make the time?  Isn’t that a lot of trouble?

Honestly, I felt like I was put under a microscope.  But I also felt an obligation to share how important I feel it is to sit down as a family together to eat.  There are so many benefits to eating together and it is a great time to strengthen the relationships in the family.  It is a chance to reconnect with everyone, to learn how their day was, to discuss plans for the future.  It can be a time of fun and laughter or a time of serious discussion.  We often play word games at the table and it is a great way to expand the children’s vocabulary.  One rule at our house: NO TV!  That defeats the purpose of sitting down together. Nothing kills discussion faster than the television.

There has been research done on the importance of the family meal.  Children of families who regularly eat together tend to have better academic performance. They generally consume a healthier diet and more varied nutrients.  They are less likely to get into trouble or use drugs.  Girls who eat regularly with their families are less likely to develop eating disorders.  The list goes on.

It isn’t always easy to get food on the table.  It takes planning and organization, especially on days when people are coming and going to and from events.  But it can be done and it is so worth it.  But you don’t have to believe me.  There are numerous websites out there that talk about the importance of the family meal.  Here are just a few:

http://family.samhsa.gov/get/mealtime.aspx

http://www.mealsmatter.org/index.aspx

http://www.extension.org/pages/It’s_a_Family_Affair:_Family_Mealtime_Behaviors

Be aware, many of the sites out there have corporate sponsors and promote ‘quick and easy’ prepared foods but much of the information is still good.

What’s dinner like at your house?

Who needs sleep anyway?

By Maria of dirtundermynails.com

Eight hours of sleep a night would be wonderful and refreshing, but there are just so many fun things to do when I’m awake!  Though I try to get to bed by 11 pm and get up around 7 am, I have an 8 month old… so it’s not like I’m actually getting 8 hours of sleep anyway   And, seeing as I’m already sleep deprived, I’ve decided to wake the family up tomorrow morning at 4am (that’s on the 17th) for a little break from the monotony of sleeping!  “Why?!?”, you ask.  Well, so that we can snuggle up under warm blankets, look up at the sky, and watch the Leonid meteor shower display.

Every year around Nov. 17/18th, the earth passes through the debris from the Tempel-Tuttle Comet.  As the debris enters the earth’s atmosphere, it burns up and looks like shooting stars in the sky.  This year is supposed to be a nice display!  The ’stars’ will look like they are falling from the constellation of Leo (hence the name ‘Leonids’).  Here’s a little more info.

depiction of the Leonids storm of 1833

(This will be my last post for now… I have really enjoyed writing here and meeting all of you, but I am taking the time to focus on family.  I hope to continue writing for my blog, which will be mostly about homesteading and homeschooling.  Take care!!)

 

Photo source: http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/File:Leonids-1833.jpg

Making the Time

Let’s face it, we’re all busy.  It doesn’t matter if we work or not, keep a garden or not, have children or not – everyone is busy.  This level of busyness varies, of course, but I’d venture to say that everyone has trouble finding the time now and then.  We all have priorities that we try to stick too, as well.  Juggling those priorities can get a little tricky sometimes, I know.

One priority that I hold dear, and I’m sure I’m not alone in this, is making time to enjoy friends and family.  However, sometimes it gets hard to fit that in.  Dinner invitations get turned down because well the garden is overrun with weeds or the apples need to be picked before a freeze or exhaustion from a stressful work week.  Sometimes we have ideas about hosting a get together or pot luck only to find that we get the to-do list done enough to actually invite people over.  All this other stuff gets in the way of having meaningful friendships and relationships with people I hold dear from time-to-time.

I’m learning now that no matter what all that other stuff will still be there tomorrow.  I’m learning that I have to just put it all aside and make the time to spend with people I want to occupy space in my heart and life.  See, it’s the time spent with these folks that encourages me to go on, they fill my well so to speak.  Their fellowship allows me to face another day of canning apples without losing my temper or throwing a fit.  Their conversations, prayers, and kind words allow to me to face the next stressful work day or project that just doesn’t go my way.

As we get close to the holiday season, and many gathering opportunities, I’m going to put aside my notions of what must be done.  I’m going to let go of “it has to be perfect” thinking before inviting guests, I’m going to let the to-do list slide a little.  In short, I’m going to make time to put the people who make me who I am first on the list.  I’m going to quit worrying about achieving some kind of ideal about balance and instead live in harmony with much to do and still making time for love and friendship.

making time

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by Stacy of Little Blue Hen

Couldn’t we all use a few more hours in the day?

Since we moved, my husband has been working a lot of evening shifts. When he was working days and I was working evenings, we scarcely saw one another. Add to that ever-changing schedules and it gets complicated. The phrase “ships passing in the night” applied well, except that there was less passing and more sleeping in the same bed with an overlap of about four hours. We don’t have kids, so that makes it much easier, but sometimes we just plain don’t see each other!

When we’re tired and at home, we too often find ourselves in different rooms: one reading, one on the computer or in the kitchen. To combat this, we try to schedule semi-regular “fun days.” It’s hard for us to plan a regular “date night,” because we often aren’t available in the evenings. Instead, we make plans to do something fun – and often free! This is especially fun since we just moved and have lots of new sights to see. We’ve been to the zoo and the aquarium, hiked in a state park, and walked on the beach, seen museums, and picked our own fruit at a you-pick farm… or we’ve just gone to a movie. It doesn’t have to be an all-day activity, but it should be enjoyable, and preferably new! Back in Minnesota where we both lived most of our lives, we tried to find places to “play tourist” and visit places we had heard about but never been.

Usually of his two days off we reserve one for errands and reserve one for fun. We may end up at the grocery store eventually, but we have to have fun first. By prioritizing that time to relax and see each other, there is less urgency to get something done. Sometimes our fun day to-do list is just “brunch,” “nap,” and “play with cats.” If it’s on the list, you have to do it!

It took us a while to figure this out. Sometimes it was stressful to have different schedules, then we fell into the routine of never spending time together, then we realized that we never saw each other and had to figure out a way to find that time.

Do you try to schedule regular “fun” time with your family/spouse/significant other? What are some of your favorite activities and how do you make it work?

Common sense wellness

From Judy at My Freezer is Full.

With all the media hype and hysteria about the flu it’s important to recognize what we can do to keep ourselves and those we love as healthy as possible.  We can’t shield ourselves, or our loved ones, from every illness that comes along and face it, vaccine or not, sometimes people get sick.  But what are some common sense things that we can do, and reinforce with our families, to keep us well.

First and foremost is keeping our hands clean.  Today is Global Hand Washing Day.  Really, it is, seriously.  I couldn’t make something like that up.  It is an international effort to teach everyone, especially children, how simply washing your hands with soap and water can help prevent illness.  Their focus is often on developing countries but hand washing is something that I know my children could definitely improve.  And in these days, when 25% of students at my daughter’s high school were absent due to ‘flu-like illness’, including my daughter, hand washing is important in every home, school and business.  If soap and water isn’t available, there are a number of alcohol based hand gels that can also do the trick- but I much prefer good old soap and water.

Next come some of the other common sense things: covering your cough (and teaching your children to do the same), cleaning doorknobs, sink handles, phones and other commonly touched surfaces on a regular basis.  And of course, avoiding sick people if at all possible. This also means staying home if you’re sick. It’s amazing how many people I have heard complaining about parents who bring their child to gymnastics, volleyball practice or other events when the child is obviously not well enough to be there and is coughing all over everyone else who is there.  Use some good judgement.

Another thing to remember is to take good physical care of yourself and your loved ones.  This means good nutrition, plenty of sleep and moderate exercise.  Now, I know that good nutrition is a priority already for many people who read here.  But, if you’re like me- working full time and still trying to do everything else, sleep is often seen as a privelege  rather than a right.  I don’t get enough sleep on a regular basis and I know it.  It’s something I have been working on. But I have also learned to listen to my body and sleep if I need to.  My daughter, oldest son and I have all had the malady that has been going around here.  Whether it is H1N1 or not doesn’t really matter but we discovered that it responds well if you give yourself permission to sleep for 12-16 hours.

So in short, keeping your hands clean, taking good physical care of yourself and using common sense when out and about are your best defense at keeping everyone in your home well.  There are many treatments or preventatives from both herbal and conventional medicine but I much prefer common sense wellness.  It’s good for a lifetime, not just the flu season.

Canning as an extreme sport

by Teresa

Food preservation seems like a gentle activity, but I’m here with bruises and scrapes in odd places, aches and pains, a jammed wrist and a sore butt to tell you about the hidden dangers of canning–and I don’t mean botulism or exploding pressure canners. I mean those things the Ball Book of Potential Food Disasters…I mean Food Preservation…doesn’t warn you about.

Does anyone else think that particular recipe book is sometimes enough to put you off canning forever? All the dire warnings! But they never talk about When Food Fights Back.

Saturday, we picked up a bushel of Cortland apples. We all have our favorite apples but I grew up in the Finger Lakes of New York–apple central–in the very town of Cortland. Honestly I don’t know if the apple varietywas named for our little town, but we’d claimed it as our apple. But I digress. The point is we had a bushel of apples. We made some apple butter and some apple sauce, and then the Cat-Herder said, “Can you make pie filling in advance and can it?” You never know when you might have a pie emergency, so I checked out. The Ball Book had a recipe for frozen filling, but our freezer’s mighty crowded, so I looked on the internet and found Apple Pie in a Jar. Bingo!

We set to work with our canning rig and our apple peeler/corer/slicer (ours is red and we bought it at our local non-chain hardware store, where the guys are used to us coming in and asking unique questions such as what size screws would be best for attaching rapier blades, but it’s the same model) and soon had a huge pot of caramelly, cinnamon-infused syrup and a big old bowl of sliced apples. I commenced to pack the jars with apples. My darling Cat-Herder poured in the syrup and sealed the jars.

And here the problem began, because I forget he’s new to canning. He’d assisted in a few applesauce operations, but only by fetching me hot jars. He didn’t know about headspace. *cue the ominous music*

For those of you who don’t can, each jar has to have a certain amount of space at the top, but I didn’t impress on the poor man how much that mattered–and he had ten cups of cinnamon-flavored caramel syrup. What guy with a sweet tooth wouldn’t want to cram all the gloopy goodness he could into each jar? To add to the problem I’d been a little overly liberal with the apples, stuffing a few more into the jar than I really ought to.

Put the overfilled jars into boiling water and what do you get? You get jars that continue to burble syrup onto the kitchen table (luckily onto a towel) long after they’re out of the canner and naturally don’t seal. Only two of the jars were that bad, although all of them came out of the canner a bit sticky as a result of the two where the food decided to attempt to get away.

I intended to re-can them in the morning, but I overslept and couldn’t face getting all the canning stuff out and heated up for two jars. So I hauled out a freezer container and glooped the glop into it.

Annoying canning misadventure, you may be thinking, but where does the extreme sport come in? Wait for it…

Our standing freezer’s in the basement, so down I went with the two-quart container of pie filling, a steak we’d stowed in the upstairs freezer but needed to end up in the colder standing freezer, and two pints of apple butter. Yeah, lazy man’s load, but I hadn’t had coffee yet. It seemed like a good idea at the time.

Our laundry room’s also in the basement. In my morning haze, I’d forgotten that after we finished canning, we disposed of the dirty dishtowels and dishclothes by tossing them downstairs, figuring we’d get them the rest of the way to the washer in the morning. Wet towels aren’t terribly aerodynamic, though, so they festooned the steps. And there were a lot of towels! Canning is messy by nature and when you have caramel involved, it’s extra-messy.

So I’m picking my way among the laundry with my arms full of freezer containers–and did I mention I’m wearing my fuzzy slippers, which I’m now planning to replace because it seems the soles are now so slick as to be deadly, at least pre-coffee?

About halfway down the stairs, I stepped on a towel and slipped. The rest of the way down was traversed on my butt. En route, the seal failed on the tub of pie filling. It didn’t upend, thanks to the same cosmic power that allows cats to land on their feet and small children to generally bounce, but it did splatter sugary goo everywhere.

It could have been far worse.  I’m sore, but more or less undamaged–and in the end, the pie filling survived. (And the apple butter was frozen solid, thank gods. Talk about a sticky mess!) But the last time I was this banged up and sore, I was learning to fence. Actually, this is worse than fencing. You wear padding for fencing!

So be warned: food preservation can be dangerous. Sometimes the food fights back.

By the way, the pie in a jar is really tasty–after all that effort it had better be. I suggest you taste the syrup as you’re making it. I ended up trebling the spices because it seemed bland for my taste, but with some extra cinnamon and nutmeg, it’s delightful.

If you try it, though, remember you may need someone else on hand to help you subdue this clearly feisty foodstuff. I’m sure if my husband hadn’t been at work, he could have gotten it to go quietly to the freezer without an escape attempt. Then again, he is an animal control officer. If he can wrestle Rottweilers, apples and sugar wouldn’t stand a chance.

On eating well

By Judy at My Freezer is Full.

I was at the grocery store last week, picking up milk and eggs and a few other things when I saw a sign promoting their new ‘healthy eating’ campaign.  It went something like this:  ”If, when your children ask, ‘Can we watch TV during dinner?’ you turn on the DVD player in the van- maybe it’s time for a change.”  I was appalled.

We hear so much talk about eating well and promoting health and good nutrition for our children but it seems that it is mostly just talk.  Last week my two older children brought home a piece of paper to fill out and sign, a by-product of the latest ‘Healthy child’ law in our state.  It requires that every child, from 7th grade up, have, on file, a plan of how they will achieve at least 120 minutes of physical activity a week.  Mine didn’t have difficulty filling it out, they have an abundance of physical activity and they’re not even involved in school sports programs.  Our schools have also been hopping on the bandwagon about serving more healthy school lunches.  Of course, what I’ve seen this entail so far is  serving whole wheat pasta or making the breading on the fried foods ‘whole grain’.  They try, but I think the problem is much larger than school lunch programs can solve.  It starts with the parents-with the loss of the family meal and with the fact that so few people now-days can actually COOK.

I have several coworkers who are prime examples of this.  First is one I’ll call Jessica* (names have been changed to protect the innocent).  Jessica is married with two children in elementary school.  She complains frequently that they have money problems yet she continues to buy her lunch at the hospital every day, saying that she doesn’t have time to pack her lunch.  But what she buys frequently are pre-cooked, pre-peeled hard boiled eggs and little plastic bowls of celery and carrot sticks.  She has asked other co-workers to bring in the coupon sheets from the papers for her to use.  I offered to bring in ours and she was surprised that I didn’t use them.  But then, most things that we purchase from the store don’t have coupons.  She is living the prepared food, quick and easy lifestyle, yet she complains constantly that her children have lots of health problems and that she often doesn’t feel well.  Hmmmm….

Another co-worker is Mary*.  She is also married with two children in elementary school and  16 month old twins.  She went through a stint where she was going to one of those places where you can, for a steep price, make a series of pre-packaged “home made” casseroles to put in the freezer. She gave up on that one after finding out that most of her family wouldn’t eat them.  She frequently talks of feeding her children bowls of cereal for dinner as she doesn’t have time to cook between work and evening activities.

In my opinion, these co-workers are a symptom of a larger problem in our society.  The loss of the importance of the family dinner and the ability to cook ‘real food’.  I’ll admit, I sometimes use box mixes for quick meals or side dishes but these are the exception, not the rule.  Two weeks ago, at an orientation session for my middle child’s church confirmation class, the other mothers were surprised to learn that we sit down as a family for dinner nearly every night.  There are few nights when that isn’t true in our home.  We eat real food (that you can pronounce all the ingredients!) together as a family. I find it rather sad that we are now the exception rather than the rule in society.

I definitely don’t have the answer to this problem.  I hear lots of people talking about ‘Eating Fresh and Eating Local’ but very few people can truly make that  happen.  It is definitely a lifestyle choice that you need to embrace.  There are plusses and minuses to it.  It isn’t always convenient or easy- it takes planning and effort- but my children are healthy and happy. We can sit and have a conversation every night at dinner, and my children are learning about ‘real food’ and are learning to actually cook, rather than just open a package.  For the most part, they know where their food has come from and what that means.

How about you?  Any thoughts?  Or any answers?

Tea Time

By Maria of Dirtundermynails.com

I’ve been trying to set up little rituals or rhythms to our day or week that we know we can count on… reading time in the evening, library day on Mondays, pizza on Fridays.  One that Kaia and I have started lately is having tea time.  It’s really nice, even in hot weather, to wake up and have a cup of tea.  It seems to take the ‘rush, rush, rush’ out of the mornings, especially school mornings!

I have hundreds (literally) of herbs in my office, so we can chose from boxed teas, or go out to the office (which is on the land) and pick our own flavor of the day!  Sometimes I feel fruity (orange or lemon peal, hibiscus, peach leaf, maybe a touch of cinnamon…), sometimes I feel a little minty (spearmint, lemon balm, maybe a little ginger…), maybe I start the morning feeling a little frisky (cocoa nibs, jasmine, rose petals, damiana, cardamon…), or I need a little nourishment (milky oats, nettles, rose hips, alfalfa…).  Kaia always seems to go for the same flower fairy blend (hibiscus, red clover, lavender,  elderberries and flowers, cinnamon…), but my absolute favorite is one I never tire of: Rooibos, cinnamon, cardamom, cloves, orange and ginger… steeped until dark red/brown with a splash of cream!!!  MMmmm, Mmmmm, good!!!  I could drink a gallon of it!

I think there is an art to creating a good herbal tea!  If you are sad, it should comfort you and pick you up.  If you are stressed, it should help soothe your frayed nerves.  I love having so many herbs at my fingertips.  I feel like a detective as I sift through the herbs trying to decipher which herbal mixture will break the code and start my day off with a gentle exhale and an “Aaaaaahhhhhhh!’

So, today, I’m offering to you my specialty tea services!   How do you get them?  Just let me know what your favorite teas are.  What does your tea need to do for you in the mornings to make you say ‘ahhhhhh’?  If you leave your comment by Sept 28th I will have my daughter draw the winning name out of a hat and announce the winner with my next posting (end of Sept) and send you a personalized tea bled, and maybe a taste of my favorite tea too.  Make sure to leave contact information.  Yay!  This will be fun!!

Bulk herbs in the office, A though N

O through Z

Tea basket and drawer in the kitchen

Hormonal Teens

Posted by  Annette of The Ward House

I have two daughters, soon to be 14 (STB14) and 15 soon to be driving (15STBD); they are great kids, wicked smart, talented, and athletic (not a bit biased here).  Despite all the talent there are times when STB14 fails to filter what she is thinking from running out her mouth; well, that would be most of the time.  When this happens, other hormonal females at school get feeling’s hurt and everyone gets in a twitter.  When the twitter disrupts the classroom that is when the principal gets involved.

I have known this principle for many, many years and trust his judgement so when STB14 came through the door yesterday eve and told me that she had gotten into trouble for saying something in jest, it struck me as odd and..  well, I am ashamed to say … I fired off an email expressing my disbelief.  Yup, STB14 gets her off-and-on filter from me.  Sad but true.  Thankfully said principle knows me as well and called this morning to clear things up.  We had a good chat and all is right with the world once again.  Kids will tell you what they want you to hear and next time I need to make sure to have the other half of the story prior to passing judgment.

All this to say, never fire off an email while in the heat of the moment and tired from a long day.  Always wait until the next morning, after the passions from the day before have melted away in sleep.  Fresh eyes bring new  insight.

The Gift List

by Kathie of Two Frog Home

I know, I know it’s only September and here I am writing about holiday gift lists.  I keep my holiday gift giving simple, like most things in my life, however; I still enjoy giving gifts to friends and family.  But to avoid going crazy and killing myself with last minute crafting and/or shopping I keep a gift list and do my best to tackle it throughout the year.  Admittedly, I don’t seem to do much with the list until about mid-September and then I start tackling it in earnest.

I keep a list in my Palm Pilot for gift giving.  This list contains:

• A listing of home-canned jams, jellies, sauces, etc. that I want to include in gift baskets
• Sizes of grandkids for clothing deals I might see, or to knit some slippers or hats
• Lists of books I’ve picked up for folks or books that certain people might be interested in
• A complete listing of what I’ve purchased and/or made so that I don’t forget and over-make or over-buy when time and/or money is short already
• Notes of things people have said that triggered a gift idea, i.e. our granddaughter mentioned wanting a record player when we went thrift shopping one day – we’re keeping an eye out for something just right.

The gift list helps me keep everything straight and stress-free which is of huge importance to me.  I want to keep things relaxed and enjoyable around the many holiday feasts that happen during this time of year and not let our holiday celebrations be about material things.  In order to achieve a holiday that’s about celebration and relationships, I can’t let that gift list control me or get out of control. 

Do you start planning your gift list now or later?  What do you do to keep your gift giving needs from causing stress?