posted by Joanna of Keeping Feet
The core reason I “do homemaking” with any kind of effort- besides to avoid living in complete squalor and eating out all the time- is Hospitality. Hospitality matters.
Of all the arts being lost in the name of progress, one of the most beautiful is Hospitality. It isn’t about being Martha Stewart, having a perfectly coordinating table, and preparing 5-course meal for guests- it’s just about having guests over at all. When we keep in touch with friends both near and far through blogs and Facebook and Twitter, there seems to be little reason to ever invite them over for dessert- what would we have to catch up on?
The typical suburban neighborhood is no better- garages are the new drawbridges of our own personal castles, and we may never even speak to our neighbors. Back decks have replaced front porches, and the home has become insular instead of welcoming. I don’t have any very-nearby neighbors, but I am sitting out on my front porch writing this, wondering what I would do if I did.
A Case for Hospitality
- It’s more frugal - I can provide dinner and dessert for two other couples and my husband and I for far less cost than if we had met them at a restaurant and just paid for the meal for the two of us. Friends may think they’re imposing when they want to get together at a restaurant and I invite them to the house instead, but, in fact, my motives are selfish- I know it’s cheaper for me to have them over!
- It’s more intimate – Being invited past the threshold of a friend’s house, sitting down in another’s living room- the act is more intimate than meeting at a neutral location. By inviting you into my home, I am becoming vulnerable by showing you a little more of my world. While visiting in a home, there are no timetables, no crowd noise, no hurried waitstaff- just friends spending time together.
- It’s more convenient - If I have guests come to my house rather than having to travel somewhere myself, I have more time to get ready. I don’t have to worry about my husband’s allergies or my family’s food preferences or hurrying home to take care of the dog. We are home, and I’m dictating the menu (mostly- I usually do take suggestions!).
- It’s motivation to clean - OK, I know this one’s silly, but, seriously, if I try to have guests once every week or two, I know my house gets a good straightening-up and cleaning at least that often! Does it have to be perfect? Not by any means, but there does need to be a place for everyone to sit, and room on the kitchen table to eat, and a clean floor for the babies that are crawling around.
Do I need to have matching silverware and placemats, a seasonal centerpiece, and wine pairings for the meal? I’m lucky if I have tea and lemonade to offer my guests- but the most important thing I offer is a welcoming home and a listening ear. If I’ve accomplished that, I will be pleased with my efforts.
So, who wants to come over??
Haha!! I totally use having people over as an excuse to clean!!! When I can’t get motivate to straighten up the house, we have a bonfire and potluck… nothing motivates me quicker!
Good post, and it is TOTALLY a motivation to clean, I love it.
Thirding the motivation to clean! We have a small home, but love to entertain. In fact, my husband’s college degree is in hospitality!
A few months ago my friend was trying to find a night to come over for dinner with her boyfriend. Finally she called and said, “What about Monday?” “Your birthday?” I asked. “Yeah, my boyfriend was going to take me out, but I couldn’t decide where to go, so I figured your house would be good food and good company. Can we have pie?” Oh, she knows me too well.
We also like to have fancy-food-making parties, like making pizza, pasta, potstickers, etc. from scratch as a group! Cooking is then part of social time, everyone feels like they contributed, and many hands make light work.
I love the “cooking party” idea! I go over to a friend’s house to have “canning parties”- but there’s delayed gratification in that, actually eating our creation immediately would be great.
Love these reasons! I rarely had people over at my last apartment. I was embarrassed — it was small and I didn’t really have adequate seating.
We now have a large, comfy sofa and some easy chairs, and a little more room to move about.
I plan on meeting some neighbors and some new friends on this side of town and having them over for a little visit!
Excellent post! I think I need to organize a get together. =)
Love the card table on the end! That is SO Farmer style!
Can I come? I’d love to, thank you very much! When?
I agree with all your points on this. I tend to forget that we don’t need a perfect house, a perfect table, a perfect menu, to invite people for friendship, conversation and fellowship. People come over to see us, not our house.