Permission To Put Yourself First!

By Kris of A Small Life

This summer I cut my work schedule down to 25 hours per week to spend extra time with my kids, now it is November and I am feeling a little guilty about not ‘getting back to businesss’.  I am getting over it nicely however!  I realized that I have spent a lot of time putting myself last and that it is acceptable-admirable even-to practice self-care.  If I don’t take care of myself -who will?  And if I run myself into the ground how will I ever have the resources to care for others?   

One of the things which has been occupying my time and recharging my batteries has been exercise.  I am not, nor have I ever been, an athlete.  I joined our YMCA and have been having a blast swimming (once getting over the swimming suit in public thing).  I can’t breathe and front crawl at the same time but I do a mean backstroke!  It has turned into a moving meditation,  just me and my breath and the view of the ceiling; nothing else exists.  I did not expect to enjoy swimming but it has become something I look forward to.

Another form of self-care is acknowledging my requirement for quiet and no deadlines.  I was going a little crazy towards the end of the summer, spending time with my kids was great-but I need time which is my own-nobody else in the house and quiet.  I have that time now and I am like a spring slowly relaxing, tension running out of me.

I have found myself to be a much more relaxed Mom.  There is more cuddling before the bus comes, better meals planned, fewer blow-ups, and less guilt on my part.  Now I realize most of us do not have the luxury of dictating work hours, but how can you take better care of yourself?  How can you find a little ME time?  Is there an hour or two you can stake out every week for an appointment with yourself?  I would like to hear some of your creative solutions.

homemaking resources

I’m switching it up! Instead of my normal verbose post, I want to turn it around and ask all of you a question. Our topic for the next few days is hobbies and relaxation, and since I have been stress baking up a storm lately (which I have previously covered) I had to think of something else.

Something we all obviously have in common is reading blogs. (Shall we all say “duh” together?) Some blogs I read are inspirational, some are educational and informative, and some are purely escapist. The topics range from arts and crafts to photography to sustainable design, with a lot covered in between. Some are huge professional sites with thousands of daily readers, but most are not. I get something out of each of them, however.

Which brings me to my question for you. What are your favorite homemaking blogs? A few rules, just to keep this on track!

- Not this one (or any of the authors here), though we hope we’re a favorite!
- Not your own (I love following your links from your comments, though!)
- Not ALL the blogs you read, just pick your top few!
- “Homemaking” is a large, vague topic, so it could include homesteading or crafts or food or whatever

While blog-hopping is a favorite hobby of mine, I thought it would be fun to see what else you are reading and share those sources with everyone. I hope you agree and leave some comments; I look forward to some fabulous new-to-me blogs.

Please tell us, what are your top online resources for homemaking?

Connecting

Dear Friends at HWW,

Like most other people in North America, I have been spending more than my usual amount of time thinking about being thankful.  This happens every November, I’m sure.  I am thankful every day for my husband, my family, freedom to travel when and where I wish, my job, daily bread–food, drink and shelter.  Thinking about the many blessings I have, I remember my friends who do not live near me.  Most of my friends and family live in other cities and other states.  Staying connected with them should be a yearlong priority, not just in November. 

I stay in touch with my friends several ways. I send emails regularly.  Daily IMs with my out of state daughter help me stay in touch with her life and my grandson’s development as a toddler.  My sister-in-law sent me a message this morning asking for more details about my children than what she had gleaned from my Willow’s Cottage blog.  Someone else mentioned that she was keeping up with my activities via Facebook.  These are all great ways to stay connected. 

But sometimes, I want a more tangible connection.  That’s when I get out my note cards and pen and write a letter. In the busyness of my days, I tell myself that I do not have time during the week to ‘write’ to people.  But if I take a note card with me to work, I can grab a couple of minutes during breaks or lunchtime to pen a quick note.  I’ve found that if I give myself permission to write ’short notes’ I actually communicate with more people.  Waiting until I have time to write a long letter, I’ll probably never even start it.  Two or three paragraphs fit perfectly on a note card and I can write at least one paragraph during one work break.  Because I am gone from home three days a week, that’s three friends who will receive a personal note from me!

How about you? Can you focus on sending short notes to three people this week, reminding them of how much they mean to you all during the year and not just Thanksgiving week?

Happy Thanksgiving Week, Everyone!

Love, Willow

Family meals- a lost art?

By Judy at My Freezer is Full

A few weeks ago, I was attending an event for one of my children.  It was a ‘get to know you’ thing for a class he is taking.  The children got together in one group and the parents in another.  We drew cards and answered questions about ourselves based on what card we drew.  One of the questions I drew was “Can you name where each member of your family was last evening at 6:00 pm?”  EASY! We were all at home, eating dinner.  The other 10 or so parents were surprised. And even more surprised that, for us, eating together as a family is the rule, not the exception.  It is a very rare situation where we don’t sit down around the table together.  The ensuing discussion was interesting:  How do you do it? You have teenagers, don’t you?  You cook every night?  But you work, how do you make the time?  Isn’t that a lot of trouble?

Honestly, I felt like I was put under a microscope.  But I also felt an obligation to share how important I feel it is to sit down as a family together to eat.  There are so many benefits to eating together and it is a great time to strengthen the relationships in the family.  It is a chance to reconnect with everyone, to learn how their day was, to discuss plans for the future.  It can be a time of fun and laughter or a time of serious discussion.  We often play word games at the table and it is a great way to expand the children’s vocabulary.  One rule at our house: NO TV!  That defeats the purpose of sitting down together. Nothing kills discussion faster than the television.

There has been research done on the importance of the family meal.  Children of families who regularly eat together tend to have better academic performance. They generally consume a healthier diet and more varied nutrients.  They are less likely to get into trouble or use drugs.  Girls who eat regularly with their families are less likely to develop eating disorders.  The list goes on.

It isn’t always easy to get food on the table.  It takes planning and organization, especially on days when people are coming and going to and from events.  But it can be done and it is so worth it.  But you don’t have to believe me.  There are numerous websites out there that talk about the importance of the family meal.  Here are just a few:

http://family.samhsa.gov/get/mealtime.aspx

http://www.mealsmatter.org/index.aspx

http://www.extension.org/pages/It’s_a_Family_Affair:_Family_Mealtime_Behaviors

Be aware, many of the sites out there have corporate sponsors and promote ‘quick and easy’ prepared foods but much of the information is still good.

What’s dinner like at your house?

Love is…

by Paulette of Smith Funny Farm

…him thinking you are awesome, even when you are ridiculous.

I’ve not felt well for over a week now. Not feeling well sometimes brings a lot of things with it, and in my case one of those things has been a pretty unpleasant mood. I can pretty much ‘fake it’ at work with my boss and co-workers; I have been staying isolated when I can…not going out to lunch with anyone, not attending meetings that aren’t absolutely necessary, just staying in my office and to myself as much as I can.

Unfortunately there’s one person that can’t really get away from me. My husband. Poor guy. We live in the country, just us and our two dogs. We ride to work together, work in the same building, even on some of the same projects. A small building. We ride home together. And he’s the one person I can’t hide the moods from.

Luckily for me, he really loves me. He understands me. He doesn’t take it personally when I’m a grump. Because of his acceptance and the fact that I know he makes such an effort to help me get through it, I do try really hard to hold back, but sometimes…a lot the past week…it’s just going to come out. I’ve found myself apologizing, A LOT, for my mood.

We were walking to the car yesterday to go home from work, and he put his arm around me and said – and I’m paraphrasing here, because he said a lot – but it was on the order of ‘You don’t have to apologize to me for not feeling well. You know you don’t have to ‘act’ with me, you don’t have to try to hold it in, you can just be yourself. I’m ok with it. I want to always feel safe with me in knowing that I love you and always accept you exactly as you are every minute…just like you do for me”.

Is there anything more awesome than that? Someone that totally accepts you like you are every day. I think not. I think I’m one lucky girl.

I hope for you that you have someone like that in your life.

It takes two (or more)

I identify as a homemaker, obviously, and I glory sometimes in playing up the frilly, old-fashioned connotations thereof. I love my ruffled aprons (I love them so much that I need to make another, or see if I can talk my friend Lyd into making me one in exchange for goodies.) I wear dresses more often than not. I love the imagery of the 1950s housewife. Yeah, I’m a girly girl.

But being a homemaker in the 21st century isn’t a solely female province and I say thank goodness for that. I came home tonight to the Cat-Herder making fried rice, bread rising in the oven; he gets home a bit earlier than me and decided to get dinner started so I could write. (I’m heavy in the throes of my next book.) He does a lot of the bread-baking these days, because it’s a task he enjoys. Kneading, he says, is soothing. He likes to cook, too–certain dishes are decidedly his specialities. We both clean. Okay, neither of us clean as much as we feel should happen, but if we didn’t both pitch in, we’d be far worse off. I’m the gardener. He helps dig new beds and he mows the lawn. I’m trying to get him to let me mow the lawn, in fact, because it’s a chore he really hates, but I think he thinks of it as a man’s job. Like baking.

We’re not the only humans regularly in residence in the house. The House-Geek, a dear friend of the family, is around most weekends. (He lives in a place so small he has to go into the hall to change his mind, so he comes to us for a taste of homey goodness and the company of cats.) He largely “earns his keep” by making sure the computers are behaving, but he’ll occasionally make us something Asian and knock-your-socks-off spicy for dinner, and if the Cat-Herder’s uniforms are hung very neatly indeed, we know the House-Geek pitched in on the laundry.

The idealized 1950s housewife has her allure. Often I feel I’m falling short because I can’t “do it all,” and do it while prettily dressed and wearing heels, to boot. Honestly, though,  I’m not sure I could work outside, write, tend a garden the size of ours and do all the traditionally “female” chores.  The work of making a home, when one must work outside the home, can easily take two or more. I consider myself blessed that the guys see this.

Now if we could only train the cats to clean their own litter boxes, we’d be in great shape!

How do you divide the labor at your house?

Oh, you’re one of “those” people

by Stephanie of Going Green in So. IL

That is a phrase I hear sometimes when I’m done describing the things I like to do, the things that interest me.  Sometimes I get “You don’t seem like some tree hugging hippie!”  I usually smile, laugh and continue on. I do realize that I am an ambassador for a different path of living.   My relationship with this world  isn’t always an easy one.  It’s a world where “easy and convenient”  tend to clash with my own ideas and values.  People constantly ask me “Why do you <insert activity/project/etc> when you can just go buy it/get it at the store? 

I always ask them if they really want to know.  Sometimes this startles people but lately they actually want to know….and I tell them.  I tell them about the pride I feel in making something.  I tell them how much more nutritious our food is.  I tell them how much money we DON”T spend because we do things a certain way.  I tell them about the panic receding more quickly when some unexpected thing happens because I know we can find a way to get through it.  I tell them about the peace that you can find when you slow down, even if its just a little here and there. Usually by then even the cynical ones have lost the smirk on their faces, and almost always they are coming back to ask me where they can find out more.

Who needs sleep anyway?

By Maria of dirtundermynails.com

Eight hours of sleep a night would be wonderful and refreshing, but there are just so many fun things to do when I’m awake!  Though I try to get to bed by 11 pm and get up around 7 am, I have an 8 month old… so it’s not like I’m actually getting 8 hours of sleep anyway   And, seeing as I’m already sleep deprived, I’ve decided to wake the family up tomorrow morning at 4am (that’s on the 17th) for a little break from the monotony of sleeping!  “Why?!?”, you ask.  Well, so that we can snuggle up under warm blankets, look up at the sky, and watch the Leonid meteor shower display.

Every year around Nov. 17/18th, the earth passes through the debris from the Tempel-Tuttle Comet.  As the debris enters the earth’s atmosphere, it burns up and looks like shooting stars in the sky.  This year is supposed to be a nice display!  The ’stars’ will look like they are falling from the constellation of Leo (hence the name ‘Leonids’).  Here’s a little more info.

depiction of the Leonids storm of 1833

(This will be my last post for now… I have really enjoyed writing here and meeting all of you, but I am taking the time to focus on family.  I hope to continue writing for my blog, which will be mostly about homesteading and homeschooling.  Take care!!)

 

Photo source: http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/File:Leonids-1833.jpg

Being Neighborly

from Annette at The Ward House.

When it come up my turn to write about relationships, I began reviewing the different relationships in my life; Beloved, children, parents, siblings, cousins, extended family, and . . . neighbors.

It is easy to focus on the immediate relationships of family; what about the extended relationships belonging to those with our neighbors?  I am not talking about community as that is the whole picture; this is only one of the components.

We have two neighbors that we are ‘close’ to.  Not being especially social creatures (Beloved and I), these two friendships have been a stretch for us.  One neighbor is a talented artist and is into homesteading, making due, repurposing, all the activities Beloved and I are into.  Our other neighbor is  talented in culinary, soap making, and hostessing; they are both corporate employees.  Neither neighbor really knows the other.  We look after the artist’s outside wood furnace when we go out to load ours, and I let out and feed the soap maker’s dog when she is going to be home late.  Cute recent story about the soap maker; she came over the other morning to request a cup of dog food; I had finished the food feeding the dog the night before.  Now I’ve had visions of a neighbor asking to ‘borrow’ a cup of sugar – can one really ‘borrow’ a cup of sugar?  I digress.  This simple request created such a warm and fuzzy feeling for me and I am thankful that such a relationship could exist.

These friendships are far from one-sided.  Artist watches our stove when we are away and keeps an eye on the house.  We also share seeds and she lends me her kraut-making crock.  Soap making neighbor gives me soap and let’s my  dog out if I am going to be late.  We look after each other.

Not all neighbors make good neighbors; our unique friendships would not work everywhere and with everyone.  Some people cannot be trusted with knowing where the emergency key is hidden.

If you can, greet your neighbor; there may be a great relationship in the waiting.

Squirreling away…

By Joanna of Keeping Feet

Not long after I started cooking a few years ago, the Baking Season Bug hit me. You know what I mean, right? The days get shorter and colder, the garden is put to bed, and I’m spending lots more time inside. The house is getting cooler, too, and warm baked goods do wonders to warm both house and tummies.

Also, the occasions to bake keep piling up. Cookies can be sent as presents in colorful tins. Parties demand that some sweet be brought to share with a crowd. Coworkers especially appreciate a plate of cookies or muffins left in the breakroom. I’ve started a tradition to decorate cookies for Santa with my nephews. Baking, baking, baking.

It’s not just sweets, though. I’ve found that I’ve been motivated to cook and squirrel away in the freezer other dishes, too. That’s how I feel, actually- like a squirrel, hiding away my nuts before winter comes full force. Not that I’ll have anything better to do when winter DOES come full force, other than bake, but it’s nice to have pans of ready-made meals, just in case… you know, I decide to hibernate or something. When the cold and darkness are upon us full force, that’s pretty much all I feel like doing. I’m glad to know the freezer will be stocked and we’ll still eat, even when I don’t feel like crawling from under the covers.

Recently, I modified this recipe to use lasagna noodles rather than shells with much success- and put away another ten servings into the freezer while I was at it!

Lasagna Roll-ups
1 Box of Lasagna noodles, cooked to al dente according to the box’s directions
2 26 oz. cans spaghetti sauce (I used the equivalent amount of home-canned sauce)
1 box frozen spinach
1 lb. ground beef
1 medium onion
2 tsp garlic powder
1 tsp each salt and pepper
2 eggs
2 cups shredded cheese

- Spread 1/2 – 1 cup spaghetti sauce into base of each baking dish.
- Cook frozen spinach as directed on package. Drain excess liquid after cooking.
- In large skillet, brown the ground beef with chopped onion. Drain, rinse and return to skillet. Add the rest of the spaghetti sauce, garlic powder, salt and pepper. Stir in the spinach.
- Stir in eggs.
- Stir in shredded cheese. Reserve some for topping.
- This is the tricky part. Make cylinders of the noodles and stand on end in the baking dish. Spoon meat into pasta shells. Alternatively, lay a noodle in the dish, spoon filling in the middle of the noodle, and wrap the rest of the noodle around the filling (see here) The latter is easier to accomplish and just as tasty! The vertical noodles are more impressive-looking, though. Top with cheese
- Bake at 350 for 20-30 minutes.
- Freeze leftovers after baking and cooling.

Has the Baking Season Bug bit you yet? What do you put away in your freezer for a “hibernation day”?